Missing him

Tonight has not been a good night. 

I went to our old church's first service in their new building today. It was great to see everyone, especially people I haven't seen in years. But it as also hard answering questions about Tom. As much as I try to not let it show, it's still hard. I know that people are praying for us and that we are in alot of people's thoughts which helps but still...it sucks. 

I haven't heard from him in three days. No emails, no phone calls, nothing. I keep hoping to hear the phone ring and see a number that is not recognized by my phone...that's him. But there is nothing. 

Could I tell you how I made it through deployment last time? Prob not. The only thing I can think of is that I was extremely busy with wedding stuff, school, work, friends, & family. But I don't want to be that busy anymore. And night times are always the same...lonely. Just me in bed with no one to keep me warm or cuddle with, just me. I would give anything to have him here with me right now. 

I'm sorry that this is yet another depressing blog. This is one of the only places that I can vent, other then my journal.

I guess on the plus side I am working again at the preschool I worked at before I got married. This will make days go by faster I hope and there will be some extra money in the bank account. I just hope that I am not completely exhausted from it. 

Thanks for reading my blog.