D-day has come and he has left

He's gone.

Everything was going so well until the buses came and they had to load up. Other wives were getting teary eyed and I tried my hardest not to. I tried to look into my husband's eyes and tell him that I loved him without completely breaking down. I told him I loved him but I definately cried. That just makes him cry harder. We both say I love you one more time and then they tell everyone to get on the buses. I left. I couldn't watch the buses roll away with the love of my life in one. I just couldn't.

Some how I made it home, let the dog outside, uploaded pictures from today onto facebook and then I got a call...my sister in law Megan. I said hi and she asked how I was doing. I responded by saying "could be better" and then just broke down. Poor girl didn't know what to say. I got a phone call from an unknown number while talking to her. That usually only means one thing when a spouse deploys...it's them.

He borrowed a phone from a friend and called me. I think I said maybe 10 words to him, the rest of the time I was crying like I am right now. We kept telling each other that we loved each other and it really wasn't going to be that long til we saw one another again. All I kept thinking was that I didn't know when I was going to be able to talk to him again. It could be a couple of days, a week, or a couple of weeks. Who knows. In the almost two years that I have known him we have always been able to talk, even when he was in Iraq so this is going to be a real test for us. After saying sob filled I love you and goodbye, I turned off the phone, curled up in bed, finished crying and went to sleep.

Now that I am awake I can't stop crying. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. The problem is I have to be out of here in two days. There is still stuff to bring to the storage unit and then I have to try to fit everything that's going north into the car. All this stuff and I just want to curl up in my bed and cry. Not even going to see Chelsie and Cadon is making me want to get up.

Ok I am going to attempt to go and accomplish something. I will try to post deployment pictures soon.